Whither the Weather....

Dear Tiffani,

How come football gets played in all kinds of weather, unlike most other sports?

SofaSpud

Well, Spud, I think your question is a little bit inaccurate. Now it’s true that some professional sports wimp out when the skies get cloudy—baseball, of course, with its rain delays that keep the fans sitting in the rain while the players stay dry; tennis and golf, would you expect anything else? Horse racing, more an excuse for betting than a sport if you ask me, happens rain or shine. However, there are obvious examples of sports that go on regardless of weather. Think basketball, hockey. Well, duh, they’re played indoors.

But this brings me to what your question should have been: “Football players are real hardasses, and football gets played in all kinds of weather. How come there are any domed stadiums?”

Great question, Tiffani! I mean SofaSpud. Everybody loves the games where the snow is coming down so hard they need to keep shoveling out the yard markers. Remember the Snow Bowl in New England where the fans threw snow in time with Rock and Roll Part II (before Gary Glitter went to jail and the song was banned). I remember a game so foggy you couldn’t see the end zones from the camera position. And mud? Yay! (Stupid Astroturf.) So what does it say about a team and its fans if they want to be enclosed in air-conditioned comfort? Furthermore, who has the domes? The cities that don’t have any weather! Do you see a dome in Pittsburgh or Green Bay? New England or New York? NO!! You’ve got to believe an outdoor team has to love miserable weather and have, say, Miami visiting, wearing parkas over their uniforms and the home team is in short sleeves. Tear down this dome, Mister Gorbachev.